Have You Tried Yielding To Your Struggles?
During this winter water season, that's still and quiet, I'm drawn to one of my favorite passages from the Tao te Ching 43:
The softest things in the world
override the hardest things of the world.
This is a refreshing way to approach our problems.
Instead of muscling through and pushing harder, this passage teaches us that water's yielding and receptive response is guided by wisdom.
This speaks to the gentle endurance of water, which is to be patient and trickle until it finally cuts through a rock and creates canyons and waterfalls.
Author Derek Lin compares this passage to a horse and rider. The horse is much bigger and stronger (yang energy), but the rider can control it- if in tune and receptive (yin energy).
The water element is the most yin of all of the elements. Yin is receptive, wise, allowing, strong, enduring, and gentle.
If we were to relate this passage to a current issue, how would a gentle approach, one that is patient, wise, and has endurance and willpower, handle our struggles?
In my book The Empowered Yogi, I gave an example of when my teenage daughter pushed me to my limits. I was angry and could only think of punishing her. She was out of control, and I didn't see any other way to handle it but with force. This kept backfiring on me.
Finally, after a night of fighting, I sat on my meditation cushion early the following morning and prayed for guidance. What came to me was surprising. I kept hearing, "Just love her."
Really? Just love her? After everything she did?
That would be easy and come naturally, but I would have never thought of solving her tirade by just loving. That seemed so passive. And I was scared and felt powerless. I thought I needed to exude my power over her to show her who was in control. (Clearly not me!)
But I decided to listen to my intuition, the wisdom of the water element, and just try forgiving and loving her.
I made a pot of tea for us, went to her room, and sat on her bed. Her breathing told me she was nervous, so I quietly poured her a cup of tea. She sat up, and we sipped our tea silently for a few minutes.
I then told her I was sorry for yelling at her and that I didn't want to carry on like this anymore. I wanted to love and understand her.
That opened the floodgates. We both cried and hugged. We talked through our difficulties and listened to each other, and the ice between us thawed.
The sage archetype of the water element is gentle and wise. I wouldn't have heard the guidance of my inner sage had I not quieted myself and meditated. I would have kept banging my head by repeating patterns that did not serve anyone.
Intuition is something to pay attention to. It takes trusting in our higher self to guide our struggling human self. Our culture doesn't teach us to trust our intuition. Instead, we are taught to muscle through everything.
~ Although mindfulness is now replacing detention in schools, so there is hope!
This weekend, we are hosting the Winter Revitalizing Weekend, which focuses on the water element of winter.
We will build our longevity through specific water element with
meditations to activate intuition
breathing techniques to build kidney chi
Chi Gong and Meridian Flow Yoga to build endurance and willpower (the strength of the water element),
Yin yoga with the teachings of the Tao Te Ching to soften and allow guidance to flow, with a group discussion to end the weekend.
Join us; you'll feel a sweet sense of renewed energy and a calm, quiet, relaxed energy. Plus, you'll meet some like-minded yogi friends.
I hope to see you there!
From my heart to yours~
Namaste,
Maggie