How Do You Show Love?

After listening to Ester Perrel's talk on 'Love is a practice' and sharing it in my Sacred Sunday class, I'm witnessing where it's showing up in my current life.

According to Chinese medicine, we're in the fire season, which corresponds to the heart, which makes it the easiest time of year to focus on the primary emotions felt in the heart, with love being at the top of the list.

Perrel states that love is a verb. It's not a permanent state of enthusiasm; it's an actual practice, and this practice needs to be repeated constantly.

It requires discipline, concentration, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism.

It isn't just a feeling; it's a practice.

The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our life.

And to remember that it changes over time. It requires a fluid, open mind not to feel fearful when long-term love shifts into its various stages. Whether it's romantic love, love for family members, or love for friends, it's always in process.

It's necessary to be able to reinvent ourselves and create new relationships with each other; otherwise, the relationships get stuck in old patterns of who we no longer are.

I'm noticing this in my nearly 30-year marriage. Intimacy changes over time and shows up in different ways. The common thread on staying connected is paying attention to each other. Showing interest in what inspires our loved ones goes a long way, as attention is the purest form of love.

One thing I have to watch out for is being complacent in my relationships. I am guilty of letting a lot of time go by before reaching out to old friends and loved ones.

We can't be lazy with love.

The bonds and closeness that we create with each other give us a greater feeling of happiness and well-being than anything else when it's good. Because it can be exactly the opposite.

I made the mistake of closing myself off when I was writing my book, The Empowered Yogi, and then finishing it feeling quite lonely, wondering where all of my friends went. I had to reach out and do a lot of catch-ups to repair distances created when I stopped showing up for others. And it took time and patience, for some were hurt by my absence.

Another area I have to watch out for is scrolling on my phone when with friends and family. This can cause an ambiguous loss of connection. Putting focus on technology when around others depletes our intuition, so we do not sense the other's needs.

I know I can feel offended when the person I'm with starts to look at their phone, and I'm guilty of doing it, too!

So my practice this summer is to start showing up more - and with interest.

To observe when I feel discomfort, boredom, or awkwardness and witness the pull to distract myself on my phone. Then, I can choose differently, ask more questions, and listen with my heart to feel connected.

To be listened to, heard, and seen is such a gift.

Love is a practice and a worthy pursuit! It makes the world go 'round!

Tell me, how do you show up with your loved ones in a way that nurtures your relationships?

And what areas do you need to pay attention to?

This is a conversation worth having, and I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Namaste,

Maggie