Forgiveness is For Us, Not Them

As I was driving to visit someone with whom I had some issues over twenty years ago, I realized that I still haven't completely forgiven them.

Even after they apologized and I understood why they said the hurtful things they did, I still harbored resentment toward them.

I've been reflecting on the act of forgiveness, as it's part of the spring's wood element's attributes.

What makes forgiveness easier for me is realizing that it is more about my own well-being than about releasing the other person from the offense.

It took me years to understand forgiveness. I thought it was about letting them off the hook. But with big issues, that's not always possible.

I've come to understand that forgiveness is an energetic release of the emotional charge that carries and creates cellular toxicity.

Most of all, it's not a one-time deal. It needs to be practiced repeatedly. Because we have conditioned our minds to be angry and resentful, oftentimes for many years, it will take time to re-condition it. It's a re-patterning of the mind.

I've heard it compared to dying indigo. The first time, when dipping cloth into the dye (the act of forgiveness), it becomes a light shade of indigo. Each dipping becomes deeper and richer. And it takes many dips into the dye to reach the fullness (the absolute forgiveness).

Being patient is part of the process. To keep dipping our minds into the new neuropathway of forgiveness rather than the old, well-worn groove of resentment takes mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the act of observing our patterns. Resentment is a toxic pattern that can be generations old. The observing mind is easiest to cultivate in the spring, as it's the spirit of the Wood element. Shining the light of observation on our patterns is how we shift them.

Thoughts have a direct effect on our cells. When we're repeatedly running negative thoughts of resentment, it's like eating rancid food and wondering why we don't feel good.

So I forgive MYSELF every time my mind ventures down the pathway of resentment, I forgive MYSELF for holding on to anger. I forgive MYSELF for creating a toxic inner atmosphere.

And I re-route my mind to gratitude. That's the environment I want to embody, and it feels so good. As John Kabat-Zinn, the pioneer of the mindfulness movement, reminds us, there is way more right in our lives than there is wrong.

It's a matter of rewiring the mind by observing our patterns. And this is the easiest time of year to do this. According to Chinese medicine, spring's energetic frequency allows us to shift back into the observer more easily. We can move from our toxic thoughts, which create disease in our cells, to healthier thoughts by shining the light of observation and awareness on them without judgment.

Then, we're not entangled in these dark emotions and controlled by them, but take the reigns of the mind back and reroute it, just by the simple act of observation!

Again, it's not a one-time deal; it's a practice, but what we practice gets stronger.

If you'd like support on re-wiring the mind to the observer, join us in the upcoming Emotional Endurance Virtual Program for the spring! This will get you on track to re-program the mind from toxic thinking to a healthier mindset. Register below.

From my forgiving heart to yours ~

Namaste,

Maggie